It's the Revenge of the Wepa!!!

El Lamento de la Llorona

2007-12-29T12:43:00.000-05:00

Wepa Woman's road to recovery has been a long and valiant struggle to recover her memory and her place in the world. In El Salvador this past fall, a new, stronger, darker force emerged from the mire...
La Llorona...
here are some images

New website!

2007-11-05T13:30:00.000-05:00

Hey there everyone. It has been a long time since Wepa Woman has shown her face. It has been a long road, and poor Wepa has lost her memory and her purpose! She has even developed a SPLIT PERSONALITY, La LLORONA!
She has just been introduced to the general public at the Centro Cultural de Espana in San Salvador, El Salvador this week, the response so far has been very strong.
To see new images, please go to the new site
http://web.mac.com/wandaortiz under Wepa Woman
Drop me a line on this page, tel me what you think?
more soon

La Llorona

2007-09-13T19:03:00.000-04:00

Wondering what's been going on with Wepa Woman since our last installment? We know, its been a WHILE since we've seen or heard anything about her. Be sure to stay close to your monitors. Things have gotten C R A Z Y for la Wepa!

Rutgers Open Studios 3/31/2007

2007-03-28T23:32:00.002-04:00

I hope you can all attend this event and see the work as it happens in the studio!

www.openstudios.rutgers.edu

Es que no ha sido facil (it just hasn't been easy)

2007-03-02T17:20:00.000-05:00

What has become of our beloved Wepa Woman?! Who has had the power to bring our hero to her knees? What fiendish being could have the cruelty to break the strongest of women? Who was that figure that was lurking in the shadows? And where has Chuleta been during all of this?

Britney Ain't the Only One

2007-02-26T20:44:00.000-05:00

I am the artist and author of a series of comic inspired (and loosely autobiographical) works called Wepa Woman, a Puerto Rican super hero character that has been serving her public for several years. Recently, she has been under extreme duress (the character, that is) and was even taken captive, tortured and humiliated (her signature curly mane was crudely cut with a knife at the hands of her captor). Once released from the hospital, the agonized character grabbed a pair of hair clippers and shaved her head clean. I write this to you because she shaved her head officially on February 10, 2007.

When the New York Post plastered Britney Spears' dazed and shorn visage on their front page I was horrified and sympathetic to her. Wepa Woman has been going through her share of rough times. Hair cutting is oftentimes a very simple way of cleansing yourself and ridding yourself of old memories and it is even believed that old energy resides in your hair, and that a woman should shave her head and start anew. I, myself have shorn shoulder length locks to mark a fresh start or new chapter in my own life.

Leave a tender moment alone...

Wanda Raimundi-Ortiz
www. wepawoman.blogspot.com

Ghetto Karaoke

2006-12-31T13:37:00.000-05:00

I went from Fly to Nigh in a few days time, from partying with some classy folks at Cielo the other night to crawling through (shielding my face from onlookers), by far, some scanky ass bars in the Bronx this week.
Bar 1: Casbar on Castle Hil avenue.
In search of a good karaoke night (Karaoke Survivor was shut down through a series of unfortunate events) I followed my fellow Karaoke heads to the CasBar. I dressed in a lovely little Mossimo dress and Via Spiga tights, looking oh so fresh, with some lovely black leather slouched ankle boots and found myself neck high in trash. Could it have been the vinyl poster of a beach scene stretched (rather loosly) across the length of the bar, only to be met by a classic Ms PacMan arcade game? Perhaps it was the cluster of bleary eyed, shoulder high men that cast their hungry little eyes upon my friends and me. It might have been the busty bartender with severely malnourished hair fixing the drinks. Or maybe it was just the snarling suspicion that a fight would surely break out between the guys at the pooltable trying desperately to profile their Pool Prowess.
After a few cocktails generously provided to me by my pals who saw the horror scrawled across my face, I loosened up and signed up for a few songs. It was ok, but the vibe was growing more tense and I couldn't have imagined myself in a bar room brawl and tearing my tights or scuffing my boots.
On to Bar Two: Paquita's:
Known for its yummy Pastelillos and cocaine, we headed (my head hanging in shame and my heart heavy from wasting a totally cute outfit) to this place. Let me paint you a picture:
The 'dining area' is painted electric blue. The aroma of yummy fried cholestrol hanging heavy in the air. K-mart posters of 18th century French maidens perched atop swings encased in faux barque guilded frames alongside the remnants of a flung beer bottle. Christmas lights slung on the wall. Matching Candelabra sconces. Cafeteria lighting. Gold glitter smattered across the cieling. Shiffon tassled skirting over bare lightbulbs. Did I mention the raw Spackle? Or the bartender in an Easy Pickins promdress and Flip Flop wedges? All the fixin's of a night in Parkchester.
But the spanish music was pulsing through the horrorshow and through me and I couldn't resist. Another cocktail and I found myself on the makeshift dancefloor, twirling with aplomb. This could have been a most aweful night had it not been for the uplifting spirit of my friends, who laughed at my panic stricken face and plowed me with drink. We laughed as i snagged my dress in my heels while performing a drunken Suzy Q, or when I dropped my enormous hooped earrings in a fantastic spin. We took photographs and laughed til our bellys ached.
There is something so charming about nights like this, to drop your guard for a second, to walk away from the pomp and circumstance of $15 cocktails, coat checks, scanned drivers licenses and aloof bartenders and scank it out with your girls.
I should be scanking it out next weekend too. Maybe even tonight!

Happy New Year Everyone!!!

WEPPPPAAAA!!!!!!!

What a year...

2006-12-21T20:31:00.000-05:00

This has been one heck of a year indeed. I have been one busy little super hero. I can't explain it all, but here are some images of me at work...

This is me once my best gal pal went back home to Florida. she's the only one that I know that really understands me.

This is Chuleta about to catch the only beat down from me with my keychain at the China Buffet. No one in their right MIND
should be eating THAT many chicken wings JUST BECAUSE THEY CAN. C'mon, ya'll. for real.

Here I am just when I had decided it was time to leave Puerto Rico. Sudden, yes. Gut wrenching, absolutely. Necessary, without a doubt. I am still reeling from the experience.

This is when I just got back from Puerto Rico. The news caught wind that I had left town after finding out that Puerto Ricans from the island really don't consider us Stateside Puerto Ricans "Puerto Rican". Well, you can imagine my dismay...

This is me scaling a wall after being tipped off that there was some illegal cable piracy going on in my neck of the woods.

And so it Goes

2006-12-02T07:59:00.000-05:00

Being a superhero is hard work. it is a thankless, endless job that you are committed to with no days off, no pay, no vacations. It wears down the spirit, which is all we superheroes have, in the end. No matter what the power or gift, it is the spirit that drives you to do better, to help your fellow person and to dig deep within yourself to persevere in times of duress. I have recently found myself meandering through my days, questioning the reasons for why I do what I do. In the still of pre-dawn I lay awake in my lair, pondering the possibilites of this life that I have chosen. Will I ever get to the end of this road? What is my desired ending? Can I ever move away from this life to a simpler existence? Could I just walk away from an altercation? Could I let an old lady get pushed around by some ignoramus because I am just too tired, too jaded?

What is it about this life that I find so repulsive and intoxicatingly addictive? Who granted me the authority to claim this that is now my oath that I have sworkn to defend the defenseless? Since when did my voice and deed ring out so much more loudly than the other voices of reason that I should take this position and hold fast to it, defending it to its core, at the risk of personal sacrifice and loss?

truth is. I don't know.

Upcoming Exhibitions

2006-08-29T15:09:00.000-04:00

If you happen to be in town for any of these exhibitions or if you just want to poke around some more websites, here is where I will be during the month of september.
NOTE: the works in these shows are SITE SPECIFIC, so if you want to see them, YOU MUST PHYSICALLY GO TO THEM, once the shows are gone, the works are painted over.... sorry, but that;s what happens

Jersey City Museum of Art (jerseycitymuseum.org)
Tropicalisms
September 14, 2006 - January 14, 2007
This exhibition asks fundamental questions about the tropical landscape and how contemporary artists have used it in their work, either to subvert common (mis)conceptions or simply quote this scenery as part of an everyday experience. Exploring the history of the colonization of the New World as a land of savage and unexpected beauty, this exhibition rejects utopian visions of the tropical landscape that continue to mark their presence in contemporary tourist literature. Instead, artists explore the difficulties inherent in the development of this problematic reading of the tropical landscape. Featured artists are: Manuel Acevedo, Matías Aguilar, Elia Alba, Adriana Arenas, William Armbruster, Nicole Awai, Terry Boddie, Norton Bush, José Camacho, Javier Cambre, Vladimir Cibyl Charlier, David Antonio Cruz, Jon Cuyson III, María Dominguez, Jeffrey Gibson, GULDSVEINEN (Monika Broz+Andrew Wilkson), Andre Juste, Vandana Jain, Deborah Jack, Kristina Jacob, Jeff Jacobson, G. Jerome, Rajkamal Kahlon, María Lau, Builder Levy, Miguel Luciano, Lynn Mullins, Joan Pamboukes, Wanda Raimundi-Ortíz, Gloria Rodríguez, Natalie Shook, Joseph Stella, Rhonda Tymeson, Mary Valverde, Juana Valdes, Raul Villarreal, Amy Wilson.

Institute of Contemporary Art, Philadelphia (icaphila.org)
Fables
September 9 - December 17, 2006
Exhibition Walkthrough with artists Christopher Myers and Wanda Raimundi-Ortiz, and Naomi Beckwith, 2005-2006 ICA Whitney Lauder Curatorial Fellow:
Friday, September 8, 5-6pm, ICA Members Only, join on-site

Opening Reception:
Friday, September 8, 6-8pm

The Institute of Contemporary Art is pleased to present "Fables," a group show of artists who have either fabricated personal histories, or reconsidered history through their own fanciful imaginings, in order to break free of the very conditions of historic and cultural narrative. "Fables" is on view September 9 through December 17, 2006 in the Project Space at ICA.

This exhibition brings together works that project particular social subjects—the artist, the immigrant, the person of color—in narratives shaped by conceptual practices. The urge to tell a story merges with the desire to dismantle one in works that represent a range of media. For example, Kara Walker's silhouettes portray psycho-sexual fantasies about antebellum America and Bronx-based Wanda Raimundi-Ortiz's drawings explore her Puerto Rican heritage through pop-cultural heroes.

"Fables" will include established and emerging artists of color living and working in the United States. Their practices encompass a variety of media who are operating within a conceptual art framework. Artists include: Kara Walker (b. 1969, Stockton, CA) who revived the 19th century silhouette cutout tradition to explore race and sexuality; Kanishka Raja (b. 1969, Kolkata, India), whose drawings and paintings of architectural interiors combine complex styles and complicated perspectival lines; Wanda Raimundi-Ortiz (b. 1973, lives and works in the Bronx) whose works focus on her Puerto Rican heritage and the place of Latinas in North American society; and Christopher Myers (b. 1972, New York City) whose works on 19th-century circus and fair "freaks" explore the construction of mythical identities through public display.

Whether by invoking social history or deploying science (witness the current commercial surge in genealogical DNA testing), people have a desire to create a narrative that accounts for their past and perhaps sheds light on their present. "Fables" exemplifies how some artists work through that desire while underscoring prominent trends in contemporary thought not exclusively recent art: the critical use of narrative, the role of fantasy, the creation of fictitious personae, and engagement with a "post-identity" politics in conceptual art practice.

Haven Art gallery ( bronx, ny) (havenarts.org)

10 Curatorial Perspectives
September 4th -- 29th

Reception Friday, Sept. 8th, 6 to 9pm.

Curators include:

Carie Clark
Edwin Gonzalez
Barry Kostrinsky
Anat Litwin
Aristides Logothetis
Wayne Northcross
J.C. Rice
Tim Rollins
Nathan Schreiber
and
Zimad

Don't Call me Age-ist...

2006-07-21T14:32:00.000-04:00

but the only thing worse than Ghetto B*tches are Aging Ghetto B*tches. It's Bunioned feet in high heeled Be-Dazzled shoes. It's swearing that "Chillin" with you daughter and granddaughter at da Club is fly.... and you're the oldest, the loudest, the drunkest and proud of it. It's harassing a bartender for an Cosmo (because you saw it on Sex and the City) then having to ask whats in it, then have the bartender repeat it in your Good ear...it's that Ghetto b*tch that you encountered at Burger King's mom...

if you know who i am talkin about lemme get a WEPPPPAAAAAA!!!!!!

Wanna see more????

2006-06-29T16:20:00.000-04:00

HELLO to all you amazing Wepa Woman supporters...

Here are a few places where you can see the murals IN PERSON if you happen to be in NEW YORK CITY...
They are all site specific and WILL BE PAINTED OVER at the end of the summer, so PLEASE CHECK THESE OUT!

EXIT ART GALLERY (36th street & 10th ave) "WILD GIRLS"

CENTER FOR PUERTO RICAN STUDIES (Hunter College Library, 68th st and Lexington Ave) "WEPA WOMAN STRIKES BACK"

JERSEY CITY MUSEUM OF ART (opening in september) TROPICALISMS

MUSEO DE ARTE DE PUERTO RICO (SANTURCE) THE S-FILES (extended thru JULY 06)

There are talks of a WEPA WOMAN book... stay tuned.

please join the WEPA WOMAN group at wepawoman@yahoogroups.com

thank you again!

WEEEPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAA

There is no rest for the weary!

2006-06-17T12:24:00.001-04:00

Ok. So I took a secret (or relatively secret) lair for the kind of privacy that a superhero needs... especially after a very long day of hefer beating. It is a place that promises serenity and solitude. A place that, although extremely polluted and lacking of wildlife save for the rats in my cieling, was supposed to be just for me to clear my head, be still, meditate, and sing Andy Gibb tunes in the mirror without worrying about getting busted... umm did I say that with my outside voice? Er, um, anyways... there are these little fuzznuts across the way from my most intimate of spaces that have rented a spot to drag race their stolen dirt bikes in the backyard of a storage facility. They sound like strangled tigers roaring. They sound like my tia Zenayda's zipper from her long line bra tearing down her back after a day at prayer. How can I practice my Karaoke hits with this kind of flagrant disregard for mutual shared space? If I create a ruckus, I risk blowing my cover and then I'll have to move... but if I don't do something, they will drive me absolutely NUTS! I have considered sugar in their gas tanks already...

any ideas?
WEPPAAAAA!!!!!!!!

There is no rest for the weary!

2006-06-17T12:24:00.000-04:00

Wall scaling in nyc..

2006-06-15T08:26:00.000-04:00

2006-06-15T08:20:00.000-04:00

This is me at El Museo del Barrio in NYC. This is the first time that folks saw me. I have been in a few places since then...

This is my trip to Museo de Arte de Puertpo Rico...

I'll be sure to show you more murals. I have been getting around...
WEPPPAAAA!!!!

BeatAB*tch.com

2006-06-15T08:03:00.000-04:00

I think it is high time to post beat down deserving B*tches on their own page. I'm thinking BeatAB*tch.com, because apparently, bitches that need to be beaten down are cropping up faster than I can get to them all. Like that Bitch that I caught using her own fucked up situation at home to break up some other woman's home. Here's a news flash, honey.... TIRED! That is the oldest trick in the book. Smart women can see that one coming. Homewrecking bitch! I saw that. You are lucky that I couldn't get to you in time. But thanks to BeatAB*tch.com, you will get your deserved beatdown, even if it's not from me....

SPAAACCEEE!!!!!!!

2006-02-25T18:40:00.000-05:00

There is nothing more irritating than riding the subway. NO, wait, let me rephrase that... riding the subway is almost as irritating as... hmm... lemme think, shopping at Rite Aid in the Bronx. No, ordering a vegetarian Pastelillo in Puerto Rico. Wearing a bathing suit bottom as underpants because you haven't done laundry... no... well, anyway. I am guessing this guy was pretty sleepy or pretty drunk... but WTF??!!! MANN!!!!! YOU REALLY NEED TO BACK THE F*&G UP DUDE! HAS ANYONE EVER TOLD YOU ABOUT PERSONAL SPACE??!! SHEESH!

Best BIZZ-UY!

2006-01-12T18:01:00.000-05:00

OK! Here's PROOF that the service is always better in Manhattan than in da hood...excuse me.. DUHH Hood. I went to Best B*y to pick up a piece of equipment that I needed for my lair... (unlike Batman, I don't have a clever, well paid computer expert tinkering in the east wing of my estate... I have to actually GO OUT and GET my stuff. ON SALE! Ugh, please don't get me started. I always forget my rewards card in my other utility belt and I lose out on free pens or reams of paper, but I digress) Anyways, I was taken care of by a "Round the Way" girl. I love me some Round the Way girls, as long as they aren't STANK like Moustacha from Rite A*d the other day. So I get to the counter and she asked me if I wanted the 2 year warranty on my purchase. I asked her if she could explain what I'd get for my dollar spent. GET THIS>>> SHE KNEW HOW TO ANSWER! She told me that I would be able to return my purchase if anything were to happen to it, except in the case of water damage or if I threw it at my boyfriend in a fit of rage. What's that? A little urban humor? OMG! VERYY GOOD!!!!!!!!! And, if she so happened to be sneaking her lunch behind the counter (which I have had to do in my pre WEPA days when I worked as a mere check out vixen at another large conglomerate that will go unmentioned...) I WAS TOTALLY UNAWARE OF IT! Get that! my belief was completely suspended! I thought that, for that brief moment, I was a PAYING CUSTOMER! There was KNOWLEGEABLE and AGREEABLE STAFF available that WEREN'T NOSHING there to help Lil' Ol' Wepa Woman.

To dream the impossible dream...

WEPPPPPPAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

Rite Aid Byatches

2006-01-09T14:46:00.000-05:00

Okay, so I go into a Rite Aid in my hood in the Boogie Down to get a prescription filled (Yeah I need to fill prescriptions, I am a superhero, but I am not totally superhuman). I could have gone to a Rite Aid in the city (manhattan) but I was already in the area and in some crazy, naive way, I still think that customer service is unilateral. Then I rememeber why I do things in the City. Because rich people expect nothing less than exceptional customer service, they believe that they are entitled to it, and in the city, you can never be sure who's rolling in it or who's a major broke ass. So customer service is generally at the top of the list. However, when you are more an a few stops up on the 6, even Miss Jenny from the Block would be succeptible to some neck rolling, bagel chompin behind the pharmacy counter while she handles your medicine, Bag O' Hair wearing, "I got my Pharmaceutical Assistants degree from Drake Business Academy" byatch who can't handle basic inquiries. I still can't figure out why it is so difficult for a person to simply admit, "I'm sorry, but I am not sure how to answer that question, but, perhaps my manager can help you out". Simple. Classy. Honest. Clear. Wow! What a novel idea?!
She asks me to choose my counsel direction. Excuse me? I don't understand the question. CHOOSE YOUR COUNSEL DIRECTION. WhuuuT??? I am not sure what it is that you are asking of me. YOUR COUNSEL> CHOOSE YOUR COUNSEL...
!!!FUCK! JOHNNY COCHRAN, OK??!!!
I am in a PHARMACY! Goddammit! What the hell are you asking me for. My prescription is filled, let me pay my shit and get outta here before I leave here with a handfull of your hair (it's yours if you've paid for it) in my hands.
If I am telling you that I don't understand the question or the procedure, it stands that I require clarification. Instead, this $6.75 an hour Diva (who should really lay off the Carbo-train) repeats the question LOUDER. AND LOUDER! Bitch, I didn't come here to buy replacement batteries for my HEARING AID I bought Antibiotics and some Band Aids... And why the hell do I need to choose my counsel options?! Since when does anyone ask that question? You know what? If I am supposed to be depending on you for medical counsel I'll pass. And you know what Bitch? Wash your hands and face. You got a little jelly on your moustache!

WEEEPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

DIRE STRAITS...

2006-01-09T14:37:00.000-05:00

I don't understand why it is so utterly inconceivable that I could enjoy Dire Straits. It truly seems to boggle the mind. I can appreciate that I have some quirkier tastes than my other Boricua counterparts, but to be called out because I played "The Sultans of Swing" at a dingy little watering hole the other night is, well, FUCKING IRRITATING to say the least. I am used to the jabs and sneers that I get from my fellow Ricans when they find out that their superhero has decided to forego a nice, juicy Pernil (roast pork shoulder) Sandwich, or to bypass Un plato de Arroz con Gandules con Chuletas Fritas y habichuelas guisadas blancas con orejitas( a plate of Rice with pigeon peas with fried pork chops with Spanish style stewed white beans with pig ears) for a heaping pile of stir fried tofu with vegetables and brown rice. The Inhumanity!!!
However, while among my fellow supeheroes and action seekers late on a Saturday night, knocking back brewski's, I had no idea that I would be sucker punched with blows,contesting my Brownness. Over a FUCKING TUNE! People should know better than to make classist, social jabs at an urban superhero who battles identity issues. It is a tender spot, one that I am sworn to defend by my honor. My existence is balanced on this premise.
The battle commences. Verbal gymnastics ensue. Epithets fly. I demand the right to listen to my "cracker music" in peace. It may have been because of my Liquid Loose Tongue, but I think I bashed the person pretty hard. Perhaps more than he had hoped. It breaks my heart that I don't feel any rest. But there is no rest when you are a hero, on call 7 days...

And no one is spared...

Singing"...He can play the Honky Tonk like anything!!" " We've got to install microwave ovens-custom kitchen deliverieeeesss!! We have to move these refrigerators-gotta move these color tv's"... (dire straits)

Sounds Blue Collar to ME, kids...

WEEEPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!

MORE ARTWORK!!!!!!!!!

2006-01-06T22:26:00.000-05:00

There are soo many more to show you! Here is a taste!!!!

Pa'l Carajo con los Ratones!

2006-01-04T13:26:00.000-05:00

I just received a post to Mice in my Lair that has made my day! Another incredible, indomitable force that is La Musa has reminded me of the Great Spirit that makes the wind blow and warms our faces in the summer... NO not Bain de Soleil, MOTHER NATURE! And she reminded me of how far away from CIVILization civilization has taken us. Be sure to read her commentary while I go off to pick up some sticky traps from the $.99 store.

WEEEPPPAAAAA!!!!!
AND here are the revised versions of the Martini glasses that didn't come out right in the last posting.

Que es Eso de Resolution ni Resolution??!!!

2006-01-04T12:30:00.000-05:00

So it seems that people have this undying urge to set New Years Resolutions. That must be a Protestant thing, or perhaps it came from the Catholics. (If I offend... well...) It just seems like the kind of thing that is A) DESTINED FOR FAILURE and B) GREAT FOR DRIVING THE GUILT FACTOR IN JUST A LITTLE DEEPER. I don't remember ever making a big deal about a NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTION. I don't think I actually experienced the pressure to succumb to a NYR until I got to college (notice that in college there was a great increase in the amount of contact I had with Anglo folks... hmm). I indulged the thought and resolved to lose a few pounds. I GAINED SO MUCH WEIGHT! The diet FAILED MISERABLY. I am Puerto Rican, man. The food is so rich and heavy and BOUNTIFUL! So the guilt of a diet coupled with the classic Catholic guilt of not finishing your food because of the poor families starving in Ethiopia and sprinkled with working class guilt of "Do you know many hours I had to work and floors I had to clean to get that food on the table?! TE LO VAS A COMER (flash of rage in the eyes of an otherwise passive woman... my mother)
I also have come in contact with the folks that, in an effort to make their resolutions stick or to reset themselves for the coming year decide to embark on a spiritual quest,stay in, reflect on the ups and downs of the year, take an emotional inventory and spend the first moments of the new year in quiet reflective serenity. Honorable. BOOORIIIINGGG!!!!!!

NYR are retarded and are destined to FAIL! I have resolved to go to the POOL more often, before the summer starts, resolved to diet (this is Bally's Total Fitness' BEST TIME OF THE YEAR!) BULLSCHITT!!! If there were ever a resolution that I had that I truly wish to stick to it is to be more loyal to myself, to end self sabotaging behavior. To be a better friend. A better Hero. That is something that one night didn't stir up.

What New Years DID manage to stir up were a few Martinis, loud music, and a most impressive DECLOTAGE!

FORGET about the NYR's. Just get off your asses and start your LIVES, lived abundantly, honestly and generously!

CHEERS EVERYONE Y WEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mice in the Lair

2005-12-27T20:49:00.000-05:00

Yes, there are MIce in my LAIR! As you sit back, sipping on your Bustelo con Leche and read this blog, I am sitting at the Wepa WebTerminal with my feet perched on the file cabinet. Laugh. Go on. I beseech you to laugh at La Wepa. La Wepa with all her weapons, bad ass boots, Acrylonian nails, has a... has a... a... PHOBIA. There. I said it. I have a PHOBIA. Well, what'd you expect? Let me rephrase that. Not so much a phobia as it is an intense respect for the aforementioned quadriped coupled with an equally intense territoriality. Translation: killing the little f*ckers is inhumane and oh so wrong kharmically and yet, THIS IS MY F*ckin LAIR, YO!!!! If I were in the woods and the tables were turned, I would know that I was not in my house. I am a vegetarian too. I understand. I respect boundaries. However, Mice and their kindred did NOT build the Pyramids of Egypt, nor did they build this building (although, by the shoddy construction you may think otherwise) and, guess what. This is MY HOUSE! That means NO, you CANNOT chill in my shoes, NO you CANNOT cavort in my laundry basket, in my linens or behind my paperclips. NO YOU CANNOT PRANCE ON MY STOVE!!! NO means NO! Cotton Balls ARE NOT YOUR PILLOWS! GET OUT OF MY LAIR!

I can hear them with my superior auditory senses. They stomp above my head in the rafters like drunken buffalo. Clomp between the walls like Satan's Clydesdales! I lay in wait... eyes transfixed on the moldings that barely reach the buckled floorboards of my room, listening to every possible rustle... I can plot precise coordinates to the point of each sound's origin, and, lo... I am bound to my duty to not harm the innocent. I can slap the NightTrain out of a Wine-o but I CAN'T HURT A MOUSE! I CRIED AT "KING KONG"! I was APPALLED during BAMBI. I've raided more than my share of Viveros and lead the march against the critically acclaimed film BARAKA for its cruel use of film footage against chickens. But I digress...

There are mice in my Lair, and my Man is allergic to CATS...

WEPPPAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Other images by Wanda Raimundi-Ortiz

2005-11-26T22:30:00.000-05:00

Chuleta B*tch, You know I'm here... Come GET SOME!

2005-11-26T22:05:00.001-05:00

I have been following you and your nonsense for the longest time. I've been watching you play these games with yourself and dragging perfectly good people down with you. I see you, Chuleta. You've seen me. WhuzzuP, then? Bring it! You watch when I catch you out there. You won't know what hit you!

And for all you voyeuristic bastages, this is what she looks like. so if you see her, you let me know!!!!!!!

What kind of hero has LAIR MATES?

2005-11-17T21:30:00.000-05:00

This is outrageous! I have enough of a hard time sleeping because of my newfound popularity and people callin on me to solve their problems, but due to a rent hike I have had to forfeit a comfy space and move in with me sidekick, bestest buddy Wepa Wingo... but Lair Mates? BatMan is rich and has EQUITY. Superman just flew around, found a great hunk of ice and made himself his Fortress... but me? Wepa Woman? RENTING! While I am out here breaking my ahem... nails- working, I have to SHARE my SECRET HIDEAWAY!!!!!!! If I SHARE IT IT AINT A SECRET ANYMORE!~~~~ Am I the ONLY ONE that finds this a little DISCONCERTING? Unsettling????

UHHH

More later.........

Testing the Laws of Elasticity

2005-08-01T13:13:00.000-04:00

Summertime is a busy time in Wepa Woman's world. I spend my Sundays patrolling Orchard Beach here in the Bronx, affectionately (and aptly) named "Chocha" Beach (named, of course, for the abundance of Female genetalia on display). The mauraudery yesterday was FOOLISH! I have never had to apprehend so many wierdos and cases in my LIFE! It was a chronic epidemic of the 5 T's - Tasteless, Tacky, Taudry and TOO TOO Ethnic.
Which leads me to the first real case... the Case of the Drunken Toothless Woman with Baggy shorts and her Ruddy Faced friends. She'd taken center stage on the steps of the beach, stumbling about, swaying her hips erratically to the sounds of trumpets and congas. I'd noticed the children, watching in horror as Grandma gyrated her hips and Grind,step step Grind step step... eww. Their poor little faces. I pondered intervention. I thought, Grandma's lived a full life, let her be, but the youngest child walked over to me, little eyes drawn from the heat and no beverages that weren't 80 proof in the cooler for them, and said, "Excuse me. Are you Wepa Woman?" "Yes, sweetheart. Yes I am. Is everything ok?" In the meekest voice the child said. "Wepa Woman, where are all of grandma's teeth?" That is when I lost it. I reached into my utility belt and gave her a Hi C fruit juice box (hey, that's all I had) and sat her down with another little boy who'd been playing by himself in the sand while Mommy tanned, coochie pointing toward the boardwalk, in a barely there Thong that her arse had apparently swallowed whole. I dealt with that one as soon as I saw her, no questions asked.

I snatched up Grandma as discreetly as I could and walked her and her friends to the nearest corner for a stitch of privacy. The smell of booze was pouring from her body and her friends were chewing on some version of Spanish that was unintelligable, because of both intoxication and low down livin. I asked Grandma what she was thinking, if she even considered the embarrasment of her grandchildren, their need for a stable woman figure in their lives. I tried to call on their intellect and maternal instincts, plead with them for prudence, and suddenly, "Yo no se que es lo que se cree esta tipa, Ju can take jou advice ang estik it up jou ass. I been raising babees seense i was 13 jears ol', tu no eres nadie to be tellin me chit! Vete pa' la mierda!" and that is, of course, when I lost it completely....

Composure, Wepa, Composure. I took a minute to ponder the um- eloquence with which she posed her arguement. Did I know what kind of life she;d seen? No. Had I walked in her shoes, would I be the same? Not sure. But I also considered the words that have molded me, handed down by The Wise One... she told me UNO PUEDE SER POBRE PERO NO PUERCO. YOU MAY BE POOR BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A PIG. The Wise One was raised in a time very different from this time. She was raised killing her meals and sleeping in hammocks. She raised other people's children to ensure her daily meals and a place to rest her head. She knew of poverty and illiteracy, loss and growth. The Wise One's knowlege is powerful and sobering.
Sobering. Yes! That;s it! Sober this drunk ass woman up! clean her act! But not without knockin some sense into her first...

How would you do it??/ I'll tell you what happened here if you tell me what you'd do in this situation....

I eagerly await your response!

WEPPPPPPAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!

Can't a Superhero Vigilante just go to the movies in PEACE?

2005-07-25T17:00:00.000-04:00

The woman that seemingly has everything and needs nothing was feeling worn out and exhausted from a long weekend of apprehending the usual slew of morons and psychos that hold the rest of New York City hostage with their, um, how shall I put this- Bullshit- on the subway. I may have thrown my back out wrestling a cigarette out of the hand (and stuffing it down her throat) of the crackpot lady that decided that she'd, quite deliberately, smoke on the G train. The day was full of adventure, the usual onslaught of unsolicited catcalls and disrespect, unruly children (and the logic challenged parents that mind them).

I decided that yesterday would be my day off. That I would take off my utility belts, dual purposed Bangle bracelets/handcuffs, Earrings/boomerangs, Cell phone shaped smoke bombs- I think you get the point- and just try to indulge in a leisurely evening with my ever busy Significant other. It was a good thing that I'd decided to go out in civilian clothes because, to my dismay, I had to agree to have my purse SEARCHED! They must have started to crack down on the underground Popcorn ring, black market Raisinets and Sno Caps. I stopped short of tossing him across the room long enought to remind myself that I was a civilian and not the firece and dynamic Wepa Woman. He didn't know of the perils that I encounter and handle just so he can feel safe enough to ask total strangers to open their bags and risk his life for $7 an hour. He'd have thought twice about accepting such a mission had he met up with the likes of Chuleta B*tch and her Terrible Squad riding the subway last week the way I did. Or the way that I had to Judo chop a man in the throat because he mistook the floor on the train as a garbage dump and had strewn hundreds of bits of sunflower seed shells that he'd chewed up all over the place. It was filthy to watch, the blatant disregard for other people. I'd scanned his thoughts and found that he believed that his littering kept another MTA employee from being fired. How he knew how fly he was, how he toiled over his new sneakers to make sure that the newbuck suede trim was always brushed and fresh. How somehow, he was exempt from any accountability for his actions since he doesn't have to clean up for himself at home (his mother takes care of such banal things). But that is for another entry.

I must say that it was most difficult to unwind. The Wepa senses are ever vigilant. So I pose the question: can't a superhero relax for one day? Is it too much to ask for the general public to use common sense for 24 hours? I eagerly await your responses...

WEPAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

Es Que la Computer Me jode la paciencia! (Computers work my Nerves!)

2005-07-22T16:10:00.000-04:00

Mira, el que sepa bregar con la baina esta de Blog que me lo explique. One day I know how to work this thing and the next day it is a war with Mega Bytes and his minions! carajo, meng! Sea la madre de Bill Gates! Quando me encuentre con el lo voy a mandar a freir tostones! For those monolingually challenged, please find someone to translate. I don't feel like speaking very much english today. So essentially, se jodieron. You won't find THAT in your Webster Span/Eng dictionary!
WEPAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't you just wanna...

2005-07-18T23:45:00.000-04:00